Love, But Make It Embodied: An Ancestral Valentine’s Reflection

Written By Lakota Summer

Love Lives in the Body — and the Body Remembers

Valentine’s Day often focuses on romantic love — flowers, dinners, curated expressions of affection.

But love is older than romance.

It is something our bodies have known long before language.

Long before performance.

Long before expectation.

The nervous system recognizes safety in subtle ways:

  • The slowing of breath

  • The softening of the jaw

  • The warmth in the chest

  • The steadiness of presence

When we feel loved, the body regulates.

And when we do not, the body retains that as well.

Some of what we carry is personal.

Some of what we carry is inherited — patterns of protection, resilience, guardedness, endurance.

Embodied healing is not just about self-care.

It is about listening gently to what your body has learned over time.

🌹 Valentine’s Day Through a Mental Health Lens

This day can amplify:

  • Relationship anxiety

  • Loneliness or comparison

  • Grief after loss

  • Fear of being unseen

  • Pressure to prove worthiness

Instead of asking, “Who loves me?”

Ask, “Where do I feel safe?”

Safety is the foundation of healthy love.

And safety begins within.

Your body carries wisdom.

  • It knows when you are shrinking.

  • It knows when you are abandoning yourself.

  • It knows when you are regulated and grounded.

  • The work is learning to listen without judgment.

🧘🏾 A Gentle Embodied Practice

Place one hand on your heart.

One on your abdomen.

Inhale for 4.

Exhale for 6.

Ask softly:

What does my body need to feel safe right now?

Not what looks loving.

Not what sounds loving.

What “feels” loving.

Maybe it’s:

  • A boundary

  • A pause

  • A stretch

  • A walk

  • A difficult but honest conversation

  • Or simply rest

Love is not always intense.

Sometimes it is steadiness.

Consistency.

Regulation.

🌙 Love as Legacy

We inherit more than trauma.

We inherit resilience.

We inherit rhythm.

We inherit breath.

Choosing to regulate your nervous system, to honor your emotional needs, to move your body with intention — that is not just personal wellness.

It is generational healing.

This Valentine’s Day, may you choose a love that is embodied.

A love that feels safe.

A love that allows you to soften.

Lakota Summer